What you should and should not do

I should be writing about the election night coverage.
I should be depressed out of my mind that the time is running out and there is so much to do.
I should dedicate my every waking moment (I get to spend without kids) to organizing, controlling, screaming and shouting.
But no!
Instead I am genuinely happy about the fact that summer is finally over and my favourite TV-shows are back on screen.

First of all "Nashville" with fabulous Connie Britton. I became quite a fan of country music thanks to the first season of this show. I was under the impression of country music being a boring and ridiculous ji-ha for men too stupid to wear anything but boots and cowboy hats, but ... I could not have been more far from the truth. Country music - especially the early stages of it - is captivating and deep and brings out emotions like no other genre. This is me exaggerating again, but I can not help it. Think of Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline or even Kris Kristofferson ... listening to their songs have made me revaluate some things. Seriously.
Of course "Nashville" is not that deep. And the main reason I watch this show, apart from the music and Connie Britton, is a pure lust after Michiel Huisman  - a dutch actor who came to my radar while playing Sonny in Treme. He is just so damn attractive and so spot on for this role. Too bad they don't give him as much air-time as I would like e. g 43 minutes per series. Just kidding.

photo via screenrant.com

Ok, moving on.

I also started with ABC's other hits that have reached season 3 - "Scandal" and "Revenge" and I am experiencing the same problem as at the beginning of last season. After having such strong season finales they both just fell flat in my eyes. "Revenge" does not make any sense - the characters are blurry and not in a good way and the events are just piled together for the sake of it. Maybe it has something to do with its new showrunner Sunil Nayar and his desire to "Go back to basics". We'll see.

"Scandal" disappointed me by being so weakly constructed. Kerry Washington is as sharp as ever, but the storylines just don't add up. They feel so forced and unnatural - maybe it is done on purpose? I have faith on Shonda Rhimes, she is a very clever woman who gets the viewers on the hook, one way or another.

I also tried to watch ABC's new thing "Betrayal", but - excuse my French - it was just boring as hell. Stuart Townsend and Hannah Ware's lips are the best part of it, but it is not enough to keep me interested. As picky as I am. Joke.

How can you NOT love him?

21.sajand? Vist siiski mitte

Ma olen, isegi kui see kõlab minu enda suust ning võib seetõttu mõjuda natuke või rohkem kui natuke uhkustamisena, enamasti väga tolerantne tüüp. Mille eest ma tänan oma vanemaid ning elu esimeses pooles läbiloetud ilukirjandust. Ma ei pruugi alati kõike mõista, ma ei tahagi alati kõike mõista, aga see pole takistuseks. Sallivus ei ole minu jaoks kunagi tähendanud absoluutset, veel vähem arutut nõustumist kõige ja kõigiga. Tolerantne olemise suurim väljakutse on olla piisavalt enesekindel, mitte karta väljendada oma mõtteid ja tundeid ning omada jätkuvalt kriitilist meelt iseenda ja ümbritseva suhtes. Kõige sallivam oled sa siis, kui sallid seda, mida ei salli. Kui eksisteerid kõrvuti millegagi, mis sul juhtme korralikult kokku ajab. Kõige tolerantsem on see, kes ei pea tolerantsuse peale üldse mõtlemagi.

Praegu, valimiste künnisel (kõlab nagu erakonna infovoldik, eks?) joonistuvad sallivusejooned meie ühiskonnas jälle teravalt välja. Osad teesklevad ülimat tolerantsust ja teised vastanduvad sellele. Kolmandad teesklevad vastavalt vajadusele.

Asi, mis mind üsna turri ajab, on nn. pereväärtuste teema. Ajada aastal 2013 endiselt suust välja sooja õhku mingi traditsioonilise peremudeli teemal, tundub eriti silmakirjalik. Just nimelt silmakirjalik, sest poliitik, kes ei ole võimeline märkama, kuidas maailm muutub mitte aastate, vaid tundidega, paneb mind siiralt kahtlema tema analüüsi- ja otsustusvõimes ning eelkõige valmisolekus esindada oma valijaid. Valijaid, kes väga suures osas kindlasti ei lahterdu "traditsioonilise peremudeli" kastikesse. Kui see energia, mis kulutatakse meie paarisuhete eelistuste defineerimisele traditsioonilisteks ja mittetraditsioonilisteks, panustada hoopis laste õiguste ja heaolu kaitseks, tunneks ma end meie riigis märksa turvalisemalt.

Fichtner, Weber and WWW

Living at the time where world wide web has already asked and answered all the questions one can think of, coming across something no one has blogged/commented/linked about makes you seriously question your own judgement. Which would have never happened, say, twenty years ago when we were blissfully in the dark about ... well, everything. Of course I am exaggerating as always, but still - half of the questions we nowadays only need Google and basic skills of two-finger typing to answer, were left making circles in our mind not so long ago.

The point of this baroque introduction lies in the discovery I made last night while watching "Crossing Lines", new criminal series on NBC. It's a good one, by the way. And it has William Fichtner as a "headliner" which was partly the reason I took interest in that show.
Fichtner is one of those actors who work so much both in film and TV, but never get the recognition they deserve. He really comes across true to the character he is playing and he does not get boring and predictable even in series. Not to mention he has amazing eyes which make him ... irresistable.

And that brings me to the main issue of this post.

William Fichtner
photo: Primary Ignition

Steven Weber
photo: RedList

How come there is almost no mention of the fact that Fichtner looks so much like Steven Weber? They could pass for twins replacing Mary Kate and Ashley or something. Especially now when they are both older. This discovery does not cure cancer or solve the situation in Syria, but why has not anyone (except one line in Weber's IMDb page) posted pictures of them, compared face-lines and eye colour? You would think that at least one bored fan has a page dedicated to their similarities. No.

Do I sound like a crazy person talking about this? Probably.

Do I absolutely love obsessing about insignificant stuff like that? Hell yes!

Eat Drink Love ... or not

You know my obsession with some really bad reality TV, right? I am not proud of it, but for some reason it is something that fascinates the hell out of me. And although I realize it makes me look like twelve kinds of crazy, I can not stop. Well, actually I just don't care about superficial opinions made about my character based only on the contents of my iTunes section of TV-shows.

There is a new show on Bravo called Eat Drink Love which - according to the Bravo official page - follows five single ladies as they claw their way to the top of the male-dominated Los Angeles food scene. Sounds quite interesting. Except ... there is not much "food" in all this. It is definitely more Real Housewives than an inside look at the LA food scene. We see someone mixing a bowl of salad or frosting a cake once in a while, but that's about it. Unless we count wine as an individual food group, because there is a lot of drinking going on. Maybe they should have called it simply, I don't know ... Drink? I am not being fair here - of course it features a lot of restaurants etc, but basically it is more about jealousy and d-bag (ex)boyfriends than food. The latter serves just as a garnish to the main course - a big plate of juicy gossip and weird (staged) relationships. 

The cast, however, is highly likable. And equally dislikable at the same time. This is how it should be. The protagonists becoming antagonists over the course of episodes. I bet the ones I find relatable right now turn out to be my worst enemies at the end. There is always a twist in that type of reality shows. So I am curious to find out who will be the most "played" in this one.

Skater-Barbies & some eye-candy

I am watching "Real Housewives of Orange County" Reunions (Yes, shoot me now - that is how shallow I am) and before the ladies even started to speak I had a question. A serious one. What is going on with the dresses? They all look like contestants from a local figure-skating show. Where does one even get these .... weird pieces of fabric that does not make anyone either beautiful or stylish. And the "colour coordination" looks more like a kindergarten summer party than a get-together for 40-smth women. Bad, really bad. But it might be appealing to some audiences and bring the ladies some extra cash. Otherwise there is no explanation to that blue tablecloth so far from Heather's usual Chanel boredom or this peachy thing Vicky is tucked in.
How can I take seriously anything what they say when I constantly have to erase the picture of a doll-shop Barbie-shelf from my mind?
Oh, wait - seriously is definitely not the word I should use here, right?
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And now comes the part where you can all laugh at me for being such an airhead and wasting my time with such nonsense.

And totally out of the blue I just have to post some pictures of Eric Bana. Just because.
Damn, he is hot.

Now you can laugh again.

photo: WENN

photo: Fame/Flynet

TMI: ilukirurgia suurest ja väikesest

Nagu pealkiri juba näitab, võib järgnev olla mõne peenema silma ja tundlikuma tajuga lugeja jaoks liig mis liig, aga nagu alati jätan lahkelt avatuks võimaluse mitte edasi lugeda.

Käisin nimelt ilukirurgi juures nn. eelkonsultatsioonil. Tegelikult pean mitmust kasutama, sest neid konsultante oli lausa kaks, kuid kuna nende arvamus oli sama ühene kui Ansipil ja Paetil, siis koondagem nad ühisnimetaja alla "doktor". 

Ah, et mis mu mure oli? Ja kas ilukirurgiaks liialt vara pole? Teise küsimuse vastus on loomulikult ei, näiteks Hollywoodi standardite järgi peaks mul praeguses vanuses seljataga olema tosin Botoxikuuri, paar-kolm keemilist koorimist ning ninaoperatsioon. Nii et, pigem olen hiljaks jäänud. 

Nali naljaks või tegelikult mitte, sest hoolimata lõõbist pöördusin ma doktori poole täiesti tõsiseltvõetava küsimusega. 

Mind on miskipärast õnnistatud nii kolmekordse südamerikke kui ka veidra sünnimärgiga näol. Esimesest "veast" kolmandiku fiksis dr. Lacis juba pea 35 aastat tagasi (ülejäänud osa laseb elada) ja selle näoasjaga olen ka viimastel aastatel rahu teinud. On, siis on. Olgu edasi.

Aga "tänu" sellele ammusele südame kallal nokerdamisele, on mu vasak rinnakupool oluliselt kõrgemal kui parem. Omal ajal rebiti rinnakorv ikka korralikult lahti, et sisse saada ja kokkupanemine ei tulnud enam nii netilt välja.

Nutikamad on juba aru saanud, et sellest tulenevalt on mu üks rind suurem kui teine. Ja miskipärast on see ebakõla mind just nüüd - pärast laste saamist - tohutult häirima hakanud.

Ega's midagi, lähen mina lugupeetud doktori juurde, räägin oma murest ja enne, kui jõuan lõpetada, on härral piltlikult öeldes juba skalpell ühes ja silikoon teises käes. "Muidugi saame teie teise rinna ka suuremaks teha!" 

Oot, stopp, ütlen mina, igaks juhuks ka meetrijagu ukse poole nihkudes ... "Kes siin s u u r e n d a m i s e s t  on rääkinud?" Kujuteldav skalpell kukub käest ja doktor pööritab sõna otseses mõttes silmi. "Tahate teist väiksemaks või ... mismõttes väiksemaks ... nagu väiksemaks kui ..." Paistab, et see sõna on vallutanud hetkel kogu niptukkija suust tulevate häälikute kombinatsioonid. Lisaks põrnitseb ta mind kurja näoga ning nagu ma alguses mainisin, on doktoreid tegelikult kaks, nii et mind ründavad neli pöörlevat silma. Hakkan vaikselt oma kotti ja jakki kätte kohmitsema, sest minu arust loogilised selgitused ei lõpeta põrnitsemist. Vastupidi. "Te mõelge ikka hästi järele," hoiatab doktor, kui mina juba üht jalga pidi kabinetist väljas olen ning oma ülejäänud elu ebasümmeetrilise ebardina silme ette manan, "Abikaasa arvamust te loomulikult küsinud ei ole" jätkab mossis tohter, samamoodi oma tõe absoluutsuses veendununa, "Mehed on selles asjas ikka selgelt ühel meelel". Üliüleolev hääletoon paneb mind ennast tõelise veidrikuna tundma, kuid samas tahaks härrale ka seinal rippuva raskes raamis sertifikaadiga vastu pead lüüa. Kodune kasvatus sunnib mind muidugi viisakalt hüvasti jätma, pealegi ei saa minu elukutse puhul kunagi välistada võimalust, et pean sama tegelasega mitte omal valikul uuesti kohtuma. 

Maksan visiiditasu.

Feminist mu sees on erakordselt puhevil, aga ma ei lase tal kaua õitseda. Tegelikult ma ju aimasin, et nii läheb. Ja küllap teeks doktor vajaliku protseduuri suurema virinata ära. Raha on raha.

Aga ma eelistan, et mulle lööb noa sisse keegi, kes on ka päriselt päri sellega, milles kokku lepime.

Eks ma proovin varsti uuesti.

What Not To Wear

Ei, seekord - üllatus, üllatus - ei kirjutagi ma sama nimega USA telesarjast, kus Stacy ja see tüüp, kellel on mingi presidendiga sama nimi, viskavad saates osalejate riidekapid (ja nende sisud) pikema jututa prügikasti. Ja siis ostavad neile uued riided, teevad uue soengu ja meigi ja lennutavad ekstaatiliselt kiljuva perekonna rüppe tagasi.

Kuigi ega minu jutt Stacy ja presidendinimega tüübi omast palju ei erinegi. Lüües lahti tänase Eesti Ekspressi jäi mu pilk kohe kinni Reformierakonna juhatuse valimistest kirjutatud loo juures oleva foto külge.
Reformierakonna uue juhatuse paraadpildil poseerivad esireas viis daami, kellest kahe rõivavalik tekitab küll äärmist hämmeldust. Üks neist on kahtlemata tark noor naine, kes oskab endast muljet jätta ning seetõttu erinevatel valimistel rohkelt hääli koguda, kuid sellel fotol näib ta kui eksinud amish rikaste koduperenaiste suvisel aiapeol. Kui mitte liiga hea moetajuga inimene proovib komplekti kokkupanekul lähtuda "toon toonis"põhimõttest on tulemuseks .... see amish, kes küll sobib dekoratsiooniks kohale veeretatud õlepallidega, kuid kindlasti mitte oma intellektuaalse kuvandiga.
Teine proua ei üllata ei värvivaliku ega ka kaubamärgiks (miks küll, aga see selleks) kujunenud sallikese-prossi komboga, küll üllatavad tema veidrad heledad kesäpüksid. Mäletate, kui 90ndate alguses Soomest riideid õnnestus saada? Kesäpüksid olid alati kohal. Kuskohast tuleb ühel 40+ proual üleüldse mõte, et ainult spagettkõhna supermodelli seljas kaunina näivad asjandused jalga tõmmata?
Ženja Fokin, lenda peale! Kiiresti!

Bands to listen to while high

Ei, ma pole pilves. Ilm on pilvine, aga mina mitte.
Pealkiri on tingitud armsa Google otsingumootori äsjasest soovitusest, kui otsisin 2013. aastal esilekerkinud kuulamist väärt bände. Teine valik oli "Bands to listen to before you die".
Leidsin kaks bändi, mis mulle täitsa meeldisid.

Esimene on "Moving Mountains".

Bändi nimi on muidugi tobe, aga mis me ikka meest nime ja mütsi järgi hindame. Enne kui nad maailmakuulsaks saavad, tasuks nimi ära vahetada. Kasvõi osa sellest. "Moving Muppets", anyone?

Teine on "Wooly & the Mammoth" ja ka selle bändi nimi mulle loomulikult ei meeldi. "Loomulikult"sellepärast, et ma olen üks neist kahest inimesest, kellele ei meeldi bändinimed nagu "Ewert and the Two Dragons" ja "Mike and the Mechanics".
Lugu seevastu on täitsa mõnus.



Ja kui need kaks bändi peaks mingil veidral põhjusel ühinema, siis võiks nad end ju kutsuda "Mountain Moving Mammoths", mis omakorda vihjab sellele, et vaene Wooly läheb soolokarjääri tegema.

Mäletate kui Orkut ja MSN ...

... olid nagu kõige kõvemad asjad üleüldse? Kusjuures Orkutist ei olnud praktiliselt ju mingit tolku, aga masse võlus nagu tibu boamadu. Kõige interaktiivsem asi oli sõprade kontodele testimoniale kirjutada ja mingeid suhteliselt algelise lahendusega sõnumeid jätta. Ja MSN ... ärme parem hakka rääkimagi. Kui sa "messengeris" ei olnud, siis elu tormas sinust ikka sajaga mööda nagu Škoda Sapakast.
Ma elasin pidevas identiteedikriisis (loe: ei suutnud teha valikut, kas omada Orkutis profiili ja logida MSN-i sisse või mitte). Ma tahaksin mõelda, et minu geniaalne ettenägelikkus andis juba siis märku, et Orkut on peagi so yesterday ning pole mõtet sellega oma netiCV-d risustada, aga tegelikult käis selline passiivne kogukondlik passimine mulle lihtsalt närvidele. Ja ehk tahtsin natukene esineda ka. Igal juhul liitusin-lahkusin-liitusin uuesti ja lahkusin uuesti vähemalt kümme korda.
MSN oli tiba põnevam. Eriti kui mõni potentsiaalne peika silmapiiril/online oli. Aga peale mõnda mitte nii hästi lõppenud vestlust, veetsin nädalaid offlines ja vihkasin MSN-i kogu südamest.

Ka FB pole mulle alati meeldinud, kuigi pean tunnistama, et praegu, lastega kodus olles, on see mulle täiesti vältimatult asendamatu. Muidu tunneksin end küll kõigest ja kõikidest totaalselt äralõigatuna.

It's about me

Selle (mitte eriti järjekindla) blogi (järjekindlad) lugejad on ilmselt juba aru saanud, et minu peale ei saa loota. Selles mõttes, et midagi püsivat  minult oodata ei ole. Ma olen nagu iga hinna eest abielu vältiv igavene poissmees, kes kannab südames - ja võib-olla ka rahakoti vahel - mälestust mõnest eriti eredast vallutusest ning usub, et tema pidev uueihalus on sarmikuse peamine komponent. Too poissmees on jäägitult truu oma emale ja kahele koerale, võib-olla ka squashipartnerile ja jalkakõrvasele õllele, kuid kõik muu, mis/kes ta elust läbi libiseb, peab olema sama värske kui Apple viimane rakendus.
Minuga on mõneti sama lugu.
Mul on püsivalt tsementeeritud suhted nii mõnegi inimese, filmi, plaadi ja raamatuga. Sellised, mis lähevad aastatega aina paremaks ning mille kadumine tundub loodusseaduste vastane.
Ja siis vaimustun ma igal aastal, igal nädalal ja tihti ka iga päev millestki uuest. Millestki, mis haarab mind korraks nii totaalselt oma haardesse, et kõik muu tundub tühine. Kuigi ka mu vaimustuse objekt võib üsna tihti seista "intelligentsete inimeste" poolt tühiseks peetavale väga lähedal. Või ollagi seda.

Minu supereklektilistest valikutest ükskõik mis eluvaldkonnas saaks kokku panna üleelusuuruse kaleidoskoobi. Ma täiesti siiralt kadestan inimesi, kes suudavad hoida raamaturiiulis ja öökapil ainult Alighierit, Akadeemiat ja Ahmatovat, bookmarksides National Geograficut ja avada iga päev NY Timesi ja Postimehe. You know what I mean? These people have their certain choices and preferences and you don't hear them getting excited about anything outside their "interest zone". I make it sound really harsh, but there are plenty of guys out there being so sure of their likes and dislikes. If they like 70s French cinema, they are not going to buy tickets to see the Machete sequal. Which is called Machete Kills, by the way - gotta love Robert Rodriguez, right? Or if they got smitten by Emerson, Lake & WhatsHisName, you can not convince them to give Justin Timberlake's The 20/20 Experience a try. Which is a brilliant pop-album. Even if you are not so crazy about JT in general.

Well, I am not one of these people. Although I like both Alighieri and Ahmatova, not to mention 70s French cinema. But I also like US reality series and gossip-sites. I could easily go for months without opening any newspaper or start every morning with an hour of BBC News. I get totally mesmerized by Arvo Pärt, but have Bunji Garlin's "Brrt!" on replay for days. The list continues ... and I do get a lot of eye-roll for that.
I could not count the times someone has said "I can't believe you watch/listen/read  t h a t ?!?" Well, I do. And although I do get tired of my constantly changing choices once in a while, I would not have it in any other way.
Maybe I will grow up someday ....

@Revenge S2 finale really delivered

Not until recently I was almost giving up on ABC's Revenge. After a very powerful first season it kind of a fall flat in my eyes when storylines started to blur together and different conspiracy theories emerged in crazy speed and variety.
But I suffered it out and the season finale did not disappoint me. I was maybe hoping to see Victoria more involved with everything, but I guess she deserves a little break after a busy season, right? I definitely did not expect Declan to be crossing over to join Amanda and leave Jack blinded by lost and hate. By the way - where is little Carl when Jack is searching Graysons' house and planning his revenge? No nanny has been introduced and I am seriously worried about that baby. Kidding. He is probably written off productions payroll and returns in S3 as an adult. (Like they do in Bold&Beautiful).

Framing Nolan as Initative ... that must have been the shocker of the hour. Although after seeing the combo of Trusk-Padma-Camera I suspected it will come and bite someone's (Nolan's) ass.

So, I am looking forward to season 3 and I keep my fingers crossed that dead will remain dead. As much as I loved FauxAmanda and Declan, it would be too much to start with these 2 again.

RHOBH season 3 ... It is happening

I absolutely love US reality shows and can not admire enough the evil minds who draw it all together.
The reality shows in Estonia only follow the (non)events and rely on hope that something m i g h t happen or someone from the cast m i g h t look like an idiot every now and then. There is never enough drama, never enough bitching and never enough money. We just swim through the episodes and feel unsatisfied at the end. While in US the viewers are being manipulated so well that even the smartest of us lose their better judgement.
I do believe that even highly staged and edited scenes carry at least some true value given them by the participants, but I also think you can make a bitch out of an angel and vise versa. The success of these shenanigans lies on the fact that for example even while called The Real Housewives Of Whatever there is nothing "real" about them. And I am not referring to plastic surgery right now. All the cast members are presented us as characters not responsible for their plot lines themselves, but being puppets in the hands of the almighty producers. And the majority of viewers would never know a damn true thing about these people. It works in US, not in Estonia. And that might be the reason why the reality shows don't really deliver here. Unlike in US, everybody knows everybody in Estonia (that sounds like the over quoted thing Brandi said about Beverly Hills, right?) and you probably know a thing or two about at least one of the people on the show.

Oh well, reading what I have just written makes me yawn. I tried to make a point, but I think I lost the point somewhere on the road.

One of the commentators - DialogueQueen - has summed it up pretty well on Vulture RHOBH recaps site. I hope she doesn't mind I quote her here.
"Which brings me to something I've been thinking about for a long time. All these shows, and what makes them sooooo interesting, is that they're kind of like flawed sociological studies on the democratization of fame and the effect of said fame on the completely untalented (didn't you used to have to practice, practice, practice to get somewhere?), uneducated, undeserving and mediocre (save for a few of our faves). Some of these gals have made money on their own, but most of it came through marriage or family. Button-eyed Barkin Yolanda and The Countess are true "anatomy is destiny" types. Had either been 5' 4", we wouldn't know their names.
Mostly, they're just not special and some are downright dumb  /---/ What they do possess is the desire to flaunt whatever they believe they are in front of the camera. And that's what's so fascinating to me. How could you NOT spend most of your waking hours cringing after you watch yourself on TV?"
Enough said.

To make long story short. I, too, have been played here. Big time.
You see, only three episodes ago I wasn't a Kyle-hater or a Lisa-lover, but my boat has been seriously rocked by before mentioned evil minds aka Bravo producers. I am trying to be smart and insightful, but I find myself switching likes and dislikes by the minute. Or hot minute as Brandi would say. And I don't like myself for being so easily distracted. It has become like a contest (with myself, weird I know) to stay true to my evaluations. Making true evaluations in the first place. But as I explained before - there are no "true" material to base my evaluations on ... Basically I am doomed to fail.
I will watch couple of more episodes before I try to make some sense of it. And I understand if most of you don't share my passion for such a shallow form of entertainment. Feel free to stay on your high horse ... I don't mind. I take the high road every now and then, but right now I am a bit addicted to my crazy housewives.

p.s. Is there a single event in Beverly Hills - with or without the housewives - where white crystal chandeliers are n o t hanging from every possible hook?

Su nägu kōlab tuttavalt, pobises pensionär

Your Face Sounds Familiar Eesti variant sai täna õhtul teleristsed. Ilma mitmekümne reklaamipausi ning kostüümilao taganurgast leitud uksehoidja outfitis vemmalvärsse ja muid jaburusi hõiskava saatejuhita võiks see olla täiesti talutav taust pühapäevaõhtusele lehelugemisele. Saatekava väitis, et seda spektaaklit tasub vaadata kogu perega, aga ma tänasin oma ettenägelikkust, et lapse magama saatsin. "Emme, mis see kräkihoor on?" pole just see küsimus, millele mul kolmeaastasele sobiv vastus varrukast võtta oleks olnud. Üldse jäi mul ülejäänud kujundusega mittehaakuvat ja kahtlast tolmust tooni ülli kandvast Mart Sanderist mulje, et ta on õhtud segamini ajanud ning viibib oma ettekujutuses Bel Etagega kuskil rahajõmmi pulmas. Mis ei vabanda (või vastupidi just vabandab) huumorit, mida saatejuht meile peale pressis. Aga võib-olla on "kräkihoor" ja muud naljad formaadis kirjas? Tont temaga.
Lauldi ju hästi. Kuigi need kaksteist pensionäri ja kümme koolilast, kes alati sellistes saadetes publikuks käivad just vaimustusest ei kiljunud. Küll jõuavad veel.
Tunnistan ausalt, et lõpuni ei viitsinud vaadata. Esiteks läks pärast Evelin Võigemasti/Amy Winehouse'i hoog liiga maha, lisaks hüppas jälle vahele Teele Viira elukohmaka gangnamstylega (loe: algas reklaamipaus) ja ETVst hakkas see hea krimka. Korraks klõpsasin #snkt peale tagasi, aga Taukari Saller kõlas nagu pohmellis pulmalaulik Moskva metroos ja sain aru, et tänane doos on käes.
Tegelikult oli hea saade. Ärge laske mu vingumisel end petta. Ma poosetan rohkem niisama. Vaadake ikka ise ka.

Toddlers & Tiaras aka Save the Kids

If you think "Saw 6" is the most horrifying thing you have ever seen on the screen, try catching an episode of Toddlers & Tiaras and actually watching it from start to finish. I bet the majority of you will be sick to your socks before the first commercial break.

Those of you blissfully unaware of what I am talking about, here's a brief recap: small children (some of them literally still in their prams and cribs) are competing in different beauty pageants all over US. No, let me brutally honest in my synopsis - mostly overweight mothers desperate to take home as many cups and tiaras as possible, dressing up their little daughters as has-been cabaret stars (I am avoiding the H word here. It's children we are talking about, y'all) with fake hair, teeth and eyelashes being the most innocent aspect of all this charade.
I am not sure which void these so-called parents are trying to fill, but little Aleyshas, Timiennas and Ankoyafildas (obviously the crazier the name the better) are pushed to the extremes to deliver. Have you seen a 10-month old with a hairpiece? Or 3-year old with fake teeth? Not to mention the nails, the lashes, the makeup ... the works. The producers have no problem showing poor kids crying while sitting through hours of beauty treatments, waiting their turn to perform in uncomfortable costumes or leaving the contest without desired prize.
I am not saying these mothers have no love for their daughters, but for some reason this affection of theirs has taken a really twisted turn. Which grown-up woman in her right mind will encourage her child to expose herself in a way that will only attract a totally undesired kind of attention. There are enough weirdos out there and to deliberately put your daughter in harms way objectifying her more than a Playmate of the Year ever would .... That is just sick. And I think the people who organize these pageants don't have anything else in mind but profit. Therefore being equally responsible for presenting these young girls to every bloody pedofile out there.

So I suggest you stick to "Saw 6" for your daily dose of horror.

RHOBH season 3 ... catching up

So I am catching up with season 3 on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills and the first 2 episodes have not actually delivered. The previous season was so shadowed with Russell's death that it was difficult to even make sense of the events and I was really hoping for a kick-start for this one.

I am a bit surprised they let Taylor stay on the show to say the least. I truly think there was a lot of begging from her side and she must deal with all the stupidity the producers come up for her. Looking like over-fried chicken on her introduction clip and saying things like "I can't squeeze myself in any of the cocktail-dresses I own". I bet she has sold most of her wardrobe by now in order to maintain the lifestyle of BH. Or maybe her pathetic book sells really well, I don't know. I have read excerpts of it and, well, even a telephone book looks like a best-seller compared to this nonsense. Although she gave "The bigger the purse, the smaller the butt" line while shopping (i.e ass-kissing) with Adrienne which I considered to be quite funny. And don't get me wrong - Taylor can be entertaining as hell, but something about her rubs me the wrong way and I am not gonna cave in just because she can make a joke every now and then. And let's be honest - one drunk per show is more than enough.

In, out or without rehab, Kim Richards still comes across as crazy as a bat in a broad daylight. And I don't blame Kyle for one bit to become so frustrated about her sister's crap. I would have probably hit her with a sledgehammer by now. Or maybe not. Whatever.

I admire Adrienne's ability to talk sense while looking like something stolen from a christmas tree. Girlfriend needs to change a stylist. Period. So I was not surprised by the style of her F***U flower-arrangement sent to Lisa. So her. So off. Part of the reason I like Adrienne is her adorable husband Paul. Who is not so adorable any more - in the present light of their divorce and DV-allegations, but I am not going to go there now. Paul strutting around in pink heels (and almost falling out of the store while leaning to the door) - like watching a cow learning ballet. Hilarious!

I will try to FF my way through the episodes and catch up with the other recappers and commentators out there.

RHOBH .... getting my dose

As I have said before one of my guilty pleasures include watching stupid reality-shows and being really addicted to them although I realize the lack of events there can only be compared to witnessing the grass grow. But they come really handy when I need a distraction. There is nothing better than observing the life of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when everything else gives me a headache of a lifetime. You would be really surprised to discover the contents of my iTunes library. But it gives me an opportunity to switch my mind off the serious stuff and be as judgemental as Kelly Osbourne on Fashion Police without no bad feelings whatsoever.

As I have zero tolerance of judging people by their looks under any other circumstances, I have no problem mocking everyone who has deliberately made a choice to put themselves out there in a reality show format. These people become characters to me and I can only laugh at the articles on US Weekly where the poor housewives accuse the viewers being too harsh in their comments. Well, that is the reason you are shown on the screen, darling - to get as many comments as possible. The bitter the better.

There is a bonus waiting when you know your way around these housewives. Julie Klausner writes absolutely hilarious recaps of RHOBH on Vulture and these writings (and comments) alone are a reason good enough to watch that show.

I am not very up to date with my comments on this show because I just started watching it recently and I have managed to fast-forward myself through season 1. So I am in the middle of season 2 and I have to admit I am really confused about these ladies. Bravo has done a lot of editing, even more than planned, I guess, because of the death of Russell Armstrong and the characters are becoming so categorized. Like - The Crazy Woman (Kim Richards), The Nut (Taylor), The Villain (Kyle Richards), The Madame Superior (Lisa Vanderpump), The Mute Who Decided To Speak Up Once (Camille Grammer) and so on.

What surprises me is the amount of hate Kyle has stirred up. There are few commentators who find her appearance on the show somewhat pleasant and most of them have filed her under the word "vile". I think it has something to do with the fact that she really is the most relatable one among these weird creatures and therefore raises a lot jealousy. She is not afraid to show her true colors, so to speak, and being the least "worked on" means she really c a n show the emotions she has. I think Kyle is no angel, but at least I believe what I get with her. And the fact she has such a long marriage and such decent kids says a lot.

Well, The British Empress also has been attached to Mr. Ken for a good number of years, but that does not take away the goosebumps I get every time I see her. So the solid marriage alone does not make me like her. She tries to project an image of being so over the small stuff, but I just can't take her seriously. An adult woman looking at a ridiculous boxed wedding invitation saying it is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen ... please, shoot me now.

Eesti Laul

Eesti Laul selleks korraks jälle läbi. Ei olnudki nii hull, kui ma kartsin - selles mõttes, et ... ei olnudki nii hull, kui ma kartsin. Sellest hoolimata ise enam seda teha ei viitsiks. Eesti Laul või Eurolaul - vahet pole, mina olen oma doosi juba saanud. Teleka ees istuda ja õiendada on palju mõnusam. Kuigi - ega siin niiväga enam midagi õiendada polegi, saated olid ju igati korralikud. Finaali vaheklipid jäid minu meelest küll kuidagi venima, aga nalja ongi nii paganama raske teha, et igasugune kriitika tuleb kohe suhu tagasi toppida. Mine tea, millal peab ise huumorit kokku monteerima.
Mind üllatas, kui erinevalt mõjusid artistid ETV stuudios ja Nokia suurel laval. Kui ma esimesel korral kahtlesin finaali suurde saali viimise vajalikkuses, siis nüüd olen kahe käega poolt. Suur lava ja rahvast täis saal näitavad kohe ära, kes on tegija ja kes ainult mängib seda.

Miss Advised ... indeed

Every now and then I watch TV (as normal people do) and every now and then I stumble upon some reality-series which are a total waste of time but oh-so-addictive. Like honey to the bee. It must be one of my guilty pleasures - lie on the couch, eat chocolate and watch reruns of "Real Housewives of Orange County" or something of the sort.

So I am watching "Miss Advised" and although I completely understand how these people are manipulated just for the show, it has made me kick the pillows several times. What is wrong with these women? You'd think a matchmaker and a dating columnist (being on the field for 10 years) are much better off than the rest of us, right? They should know how not to overact and make a complete fool out of themselves.

At least the sex expert (Emily) seems to have a vague idea about herself as an individual while Amy (the matchmaker) and Julia (dating columnist) have fell off the wagon long time ago. Amy is so uptight that even the botox she injects in her forehead feels like a soft feather next to her. And I believe most of it has been edited and directed to build a certain image, but still .... you can only fake it to certain extent.  And there has to be something real to build the case on, so to speak.

Julia - aka Julia Allison Who Is Famous For Nothing But Self Promotion - acts like a typical teenager who overreacts every time a boy comes to the picture. It might as well be her true nature but a lot of her behavior just screams bad manners. I mean, it is polite to let your date speak once in while, right? Especially if a question is asked from your date not you. And what is all that "I want to stay friends with all of my exes" thing? Girlfriend has to learn how to let go. You can maintain a certain level of friendship with your exes, but only if you are happy and content in your present relationship or you are just happy and content as you are. In any other way - let them go and even better - kick them in the ass as they do. Desperately trying to find Mr. Right and hanging on to your exes - definitely not a good match. And the punching! Julia is constantly punching his dates, have you noticed? Word of advice - men do not like that. It makes them feel like they are hanging out with their best mate and are about to have another beer and a good barf.

Later ....

But I have to admit it is drawn together very well. I started off kicking pillows every time Amy made an appearance and by the final episode I found myself smiling while watching her gushing about that Kevin guy. And let me tell you - nothing wrong with the man giving you tons of compliments. It might be a bit excessive on Kevin's case, but Amy definitely seemed to dig that.

And I felt so sorry for poor Julia when her last date did not call her back. Although I still think she must be the most "edited" one for the show. I just don't buy her inability to see all these patterns in her behavior. Being a dating columnist and all.

Ellen, Damian ja Mandy

"Ellen" ikka aeg-ajalt hüppab mu telekapuldi nupu alt välja, eriti kui näitlejad külas on, aga ... no ei saa mina tema fenomenist aru. Selleks peab olema vist "keskmine ameeriklane" (mida iganes see ka ei tähendaks), et tema showd lausa kiljudes naljakaks ja meeltlahutavaks pidada. Tema intervjueeritavatest ei saa me üheksal juhul kümnest teada absoluutselt mitte midagi uut ega huvitavat, kolmveerand vestlusele mõeldud ajast kulub mõttetute viisakusklisheede loopimisele. Ja minu meelest ei tunne külalised (just celebritid) ennast temaga rääkides mugavalt. Kokkuvõttes mõjub kõik nii võltsilt, et süda läheb pahaks.
Just vaatasin Elleni intervjuud Damian Lewisega ning mees, kes Jonathan Rossi ja Jimmy Kimmeliga vabalt nalja viskas, niheles proua diivanil nagu kuivanud sipelgas.

Esquire's oli intervjuu Mandy Patinkiniga ja ta ütles nii ilusasti:
If there's one wish that I have in life, it's to connect, to connect to my children, to connect to my wife, connect to my friends, to connect to you. On my tombstone, I'd like it to say: "He tried to connect."

photo by Kent Smith/Showtime