RHOBH season 3 ... It is happening

I absolutely love US reality shows and can not admire enough the evil minds who draw it all together.
The reality shows in Estonia only follow the (non)events and rely on hope that something m i g h t happen or someone from the cast m i g h t look like an idiot every now and then. There is never enough drama, never enough bitching and never enough money. We just swim through the episodes and feel unsatisfied at the end. While in US the viewers are being manipulated so well that even the smartest of us lose their better judgement.
I do believe that even highly staged and edited scenes carry at least some true value given them by the participants, but I also think you can make a bitch out of an angel and vise versa. The success of these shenanigans lies on the fact that for example even while called The Real Housewives Of Whatever there is nothing "real" about them. And I am not referring to plastic surgery right now. All the cast members are presented us as characters not responsible for their plot lines themselves, but being puppets in the hands of the almighty producers. And the majority of viewers would never know a damn true thing about these people. It works in US, not in Estonia. And that might be the reason why the reality shows don't really deliver here. Unlike in US, everybody knows everybody in Estonia (that sounds like the over quoted thing Brandi said about Beverly Hills, right?) and you probably know a thing or two about at least one of the people on the show.

Oh well, reading what I have just written makes me yawn. I tried to make a point, but I think I lost the point somewhere on the road.

One of the commentators - DialogueQueen - has summed it up pretty well on Vulture RHOBH recaps site. I hope she doesn't mind I quote her here.
"Which brings me to something I've been thinking about for a long time. All these shows, and what makes them sooooo interesting, is that they're kind of like flawed sociological studies on the democratization of fame and the effect of said fame on the completely untalented (didn't you used to have to practice, practice, practice to get somewhere?), uneducated, undeserving and mediocre (save for a few of our faves). Some of these gals have made money on their own, but most of it came through marriage or family. Button-eyed Barkin Yolanda and The Countess are true "anatomy is destiny" types. Had either been 5' 4", we wouldn't know their names.
Mostly, they're just not special and some are downright dumb  /---/ What they do possess is the desire to flaunt whatever they believe they are in front of the camera. And that's what's so fascinating to me. How could you NOT spend most of your waking hours cringing after you watch yourself on TV?"
Enough said.

To make long story short. I, too, have been played here. Big time.
You see, only three episodes ago I wasn't a Kyle-hater or a Lisa-lover, but my boat has been seriously rocked by before mentioned evil minds aka Bravo producers. I am trying to be smart and insightful, but I find myself switching likes and dislikes by the minute. Or hot minute as Brandi would say. And I don't like myself for being so easily distracted. It has become like a contest (with myself, weird I know) to stay true to my evaluations. Making true evaluations in the first place. But as I explained before - there are no "true" material to base my evaluations on ... Basically I am doomed to fail.
I will watch couple of more episodes before I try to make some sense of it. And I understand if most of you don't share my passion for such a shallow form of entertainment. Feel free to stay on your high horse ... I don't mind. I take the high road every now and then, but right now I am a bit addicted to my crazy housewives.

p.s. Is there a single event in Beverly Hills - with or without the housewives - where white crystal chandeliers are n o t hanging from every possible hook?

Su nägu kōlab tuttavalt, pobises pensionär

Your Face Sounds Familiar Eesti variant sai täna õhtul teleristsed. Ilma mitmekümne reklaamipausi ning kostüümilao taganurgast leitud uksehoidja outfitis vemmalvärsse ja muid jaburusi hõiskava saatejuhita võiks see olla täiesti talutav taust pühapäevaõhtusele lehelugemisele. Saatekava väitis, et seda spektaaklit tasub vaadata kogu perega, aga ma tänasin oma ettenägelikkust, et lapse magama saatsin. "Emme, mis see kräkihoor on?" pole just see küsimus, millele mul kolmeaastasele sobiv vastus varrukast võtta oleks olnud. Üldse jäi mul ülejäänud kujundusega mittehaakuvat ja kahtlast tolmust tooni ülli kandvast Mart Sanderist mulje, et ta on õhtud segamini ajanud ning viibib oma ettekujutuses Bel Etagega kuskil rahajõmmi pulmas. Mis ei vabanda (või vastupidi just vabandab) huumorit, mida saatejuht meile peale pressis. Aga võib-olla on "kräkihoor" ja muud naljad formaadis kirjas? Tont temaga.
Lauldi ju hästi. Kuigi need kaksteist pensionäri ja kümme koolilast, kes alati sellistes saadetes publikuks käivad just vaimustusest ei kiljunud. Küll jõuavad veel.
Tunnistan ausalt, et lõpuni ei viitsinud vaadata. Esiteks läks pärast Evelin Võigemasti/Amy Winehouse'i hoog liiga maha, lisaks hüppas jälle vahele Teele Viira elukohmaka gangnamstylega (loe: algas reklaamipaus) ja ETVst hakkas see hea krimka. Korraks klõpsasin #snkt peale tagasi, aga Taukari Saller kõlas nagu pohmellis pulmalaulik Moskva metroos ja sain aru, et tänane doos on käes.
Tegelikult oli hea saade. Ärge laske mu vingumisel end petta. Ma poosetan rohkem niisama. Vaadake ikka ise ka.

Toddlers & Tiaras aka Save the Kids

If you think "Saw 6" is the most horrifying thing you have ever seen on the screen, try catching an episode of Toddlers & Tiaras and actually watching it from start to finish. I bet the majority of you will be sick to your socks before the first commercial break.

Those of you blissfully unaware of what I am talking about, here's a brief recap: small children (some of them literally still in their prams and cribs) are competing in different beauty pageants all over US. No, let me brutally honest in my synopsis - mostly overweight mothers desperate to take home as many cups and tiaras as possible, dressing up their little daughters as has-been cabaret stars (I am avoiding the H word here. It's children we are talking about, y'all) with fake hair, teeth and eyelashes being the most innocent aspect of all this charade.
I am not sure which void these so-called parents are trying to fill, but little Aleyshas, Timiennas and Ankoyafildas (obviously the crazier the name the better) are pushed to the extremes to deliver. Have you seen a 10-month old with a hairpiece? Or 3-year old with fake teeth? Not to mention the nails, the lashes, the makeup ... the works. The producers have no problem showing poor kids crying while sitting through hours of beauty treatments, waiting their turn to perform in uncomfortable costumes or leaving the contest without desired prize.
I am not saying these mothers have no love for their daughters, but for some reason this affection of theirs has taken a really twisted turn. Which grown-up woman in her right mind will encourage her child to expose herself in a way that will only attract a totally undesired kind of attention. There are enough weirdos out there and to deliberately put your daughter in harms way objectifying her more than a Playmate of the Year ever would .... That is just sick. And I think the people who organize these pageants don't have anything else in mind but profit. Therefore being equally responsible for presenting these young girls to every bloody pedofile out there.

So I suggest you stick to "Saw 6" for your daily dose of horror.

RHOBH season 3 ... catching up

So I am catching up with season 3 on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills and the first 2 episodes have not actually delivered. The previous season was so shadowed with Russell's death that it was difficult to even make sense of the events and I was really hoping for a kick-start for this one.

I am a bit surprised they let Taylor stay on the show to say the least. I truly think there was a lot of begging from her side and she must deal with all the stupidity the producers come up for her. Looking like over-fried chicken on her introduction clip and saying things like "I can't squeeze myself in any of the cocktail-dresses I own". I bet she has sold most of her wardrobe by now in order to maintain the lifestyle of BH. Or maybe her pathetic book sells really well, I don't know. I have read excerpts of it and, well, even a telephone book looks like a best-seller compared to this nonsense. Although she gave "The bigger the purse, the smaller the butt" line while shopping (i.e ass-kissing) with Adrienne which I considered to be quite funny. And don't get me wrong - Taylor can be entertaining as hell, but something about her rubs me the wrong way and I am not gonna cave in just because she can make a joke every now and then. And let's be honest - one drunk per show is more than enough.

In, out or without rehab, Kim Richards still comes across as crazy as a bat in a broad daylight. And I don't blame Kyle for one bit to become so frustrated about her sister's crap. I would have probably hit her with a sledgehammer by now. Or maybe not. Whatever.

I admire Adrienne's ability to talk sense while looking like something stolen from a christmas tree. Girlfriend needs to change a stylist. Period. So I was not surprised by the style of her F***U flower-arrangement sent to Lisa. So her. So off. Part of the reason I like Adrienne is her adorable husband Paul. Who is not so adorable any more - in the present light of their divorce and DV-allegations, but I am not going to go there now. Paul strutting around in pink heels (and almost falling out of the store while leaning to the door) - like watching a cow learning ballet. Hilarious!

I will try to FF my way through the episodes and catch up with the other recappers and commentators out there.

RHOBH .... getting my dose

As I have said before one of my guilty pleasures include watching stupid reality-shows and being really addicted to them although I realize the lack of events there can only be compared to witnessing the grass grow. But they come really handy when I need a distraction. There is nothing better than observing the life of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills when everything else gives me a headache of a lifetime. You would be really surprised to discover the contents of my iTunes library. But it gives me an opportunity to switch my mind off the serious stuff and be as judgemental as Kelly Osbourne on Fashion Police without no bad feelings whatsoever.

As I have zero tolerance of judging people by their looks under any other circumstances, I have no problem mocking everyone who has deliberately made a choice to put themselves out there in a reality show format. These people become characters to me and I can only laugh at the articles on US Weekly where the poor housewives accuse the viewers being too harsh in their comments. Well, that is the reason you are shown on the screen, darling - to get as many comments as possible. The bitter the better.

There is a bonus waiting when you know your way around these housewives. Julie Klausner writes absolutely hilarious recaps of RHOBH on Vulture and these writings (and comments) alone are a reason good enough to watch that show.

I am not very up to date with my comments on this show because I just started watching it recently and I have managed to fast-forward myself through season 1. So I am in the middle of season 2 and I have to admit I am really confused about these ladies. Bravo has done a lot of editing, even more than planned, I guess, because of the death of Russell Armstrong and the characters are becoming so categorized. Like - The Crazy Woman (Kim Richards), The Nut (Taylor), The Villain (Kyle Richards), The Madame Superior (Lisa Vanderpump), The Mute Who Decided To Speak Up Once (Camille Grammer) and so on.

What surprises me is the amount of hate Kyle has stirred up. There are few commentators who find her appearance on the show somewhat pleasant and most of them have filed her under the word "vile". I think it has something to do with the fact that she really is the most relatable one among these weird creatures and therefore raises a lot jealousy. She is not afraid to show her true colors, so to speak, and being the least "worked on" means she really c a n show the emotions she has. I think Kyle is no angel, but at least I believe what I get with her. And the fact she has such a long marriage and such decent kids says a lot.

Well, The British Empress also has been attached to Mr. Ken for a good number of years, but that does not take away the goosebumps I get every time I see her. So the solid marriage alone does not make me like her. She tries to project an image of being so over the small stuff, but I just can't take her seriously. An adult woman looking at a ridiculous boxed wedding invitation saying it is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen ... please, shoot me now.

Eesti Laul

Eesti Laul selleks korraks jälle läbi. Ei olnudki nii hull, kui ma kartsin - selles mõttes, et ... ei olnudki nii hull, kui ma kartsin. Sellest hoolimata ise enam seda teha ei viitsiks. Eesti Laul või Eurolaul - vahet pole, mina olen oma doosi juba saanud. Teleka ees istuda ja õiendada on palju mõnusam. Kuigi - ega siin niiväga enam midagi õiendada polegi, saated olid ju igati korralikud. Finaali vaheklipid jäid minu meelest küll kuidagi venima, aga nalja ongi nii paganama raske teha, et igasugune kriitika tuleb kohe suhu tagasi toppida. Mine tea, millal peab ise huumorit kokku monteerima.
Mind üllatas, kui erinevalt mõjusid artistid ETV stuudios ja Nokia suurel laval. Kui ma esimesel korral kahtlesin finaali suurde saali viimise vajalikkuses, siis nüüd olen kahe käega poolt. Suur lava ja rahvast täis saal näitavad kohe ära, kes on tegija ja kes ainult mängib seda.